It’s me. Ryan. I’m not really sure who I’m talking to right now as I post this on my blog that I’m sure nobody reads, but if you are here, then Welcome!!!

So I’ve been perplexed a little the past few months. I’m one of those people who likes to write and think and blog, but it seems that at the end of the day it gets shuffled in the mix of life and is always low on the priority list. The last post here was July 7th after all!

So there’s been a few things that have happened since July 7th. The important thing I want to write do is that my faith has continued to grow and since then I feel my heart transition quite a bit.

You see, I never thought I would be one of those “I’ll pray for you.” “What’s God saying” type of people. You know the kind that use this vernacular on a daily basis. One of those people that makes you feel a little uncomfortable because they are adding that “God” component to your life. You know what I mean. But. Thank. God. I’ve. Changed.

I’ve learned to rely on God so much more in my life in the past half-year since we spoke. I’m no longer performance-based, seeking affirmation in jobs, women and stupid things like food, but in the Father. I’ve worked through a tremendous amount of issues that allow me to wear my faith on my sleeve. Ask me those deep questions. I’m all ears. Open about my opinion on my faith.

So where do we go from here? Well, for one, I hope to blog more. Seriously. I’m not gonna commit to blogging 3 times per week, rather when the mood strikes me and I need to type through some issues. I feel like I can use this page as the spiritual conversation with the Lord, everybody is allowed to see it.

So leave me a message if you have questions about me. My life or the Lord. He’s a really cool guy. Some don’t understand faith and I pray that they do soon.

I just want to be a light on a hill. Bringing Him to you!

Love you.

I used to think that was funny and think that. But after much though and spending some QT with my family this past weekend, I’ve changed my outlook on that saying. A sparked was ignited or something like that. Call me old, wise or more tolerant of who they are, but I believe that my family is a blessing, however nuts they may be to outsiders.

God gives us family as a foundation. Some are cracked. Some unlevel. Some are deep. Some shallow. I believe that God allows us through friends and family to build that foundation. To become better people. Better believers for Him.

My grandpa just told me that there are 51 people under his branch of the tree, with my dad and his crazy past accounting for 17! As I sat and watched my dads fifth wedding Saturday, next to a sister from his first wife and watching a four-year-old sister from his fourth, I realized that friends are not an apology. Your family may be a little nuts, unstable, growing or shrinking, but isn’t that life? Your family is your family. You have no control over who they are or how they are, but they are there. God gave you that specific family to learn from, grow from and love!

Friends, on the contrary are a choice. All of them. Even your best friend, girl friend, boy friend are a choice to meet the person and grow a relationship out of nothing. Family is just there. No choice, just there.

So instead of us sitting back and being negative or second-guessing our family, maybe we should love them. Unconditionally. Forever. Where THEY are, not where you want them to be. It’s taken me a long time to realize that, but once I got there, the other “crap” doesn’t matter. Seriously. It goes away.

Lord, thank you for my family. They are a true blessing in my life and they have shaped me into the great man I am today. I truely appreciate the gift you have given me with each family member. Please help me realize their impact on my life and help me lead them towards you. Give me grace to love them unconditionally today, tomorrow and always. In Jesus’s name. Amen.

May your day be blessed!

Call your mom.

Bizerk-city. Sirens went off in my head and I felt my heart skip a beat…the usual when God is trying to show me something.

That term. “Fellow Christians.” Grrrrr.

First, No two people are alike, and within a person there are different seasons of their ability to connect with God and their faith. I am a much “better Christian” than I was a year ago because of conscious decisions to devote more and more of my life towards Him. The person I am today is much different than a year ago and a tremendously different person than five or ten years ago. So what’s the point- we are all different and an ever-changing demographic of people questioning, testing, believing and be persecuted for our beliefs.

There was this guy, lets call Him Jesus, ’cause that’s His name, who spoke of unity.

“I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved even as you have loved me.” -John 17:23

Jesus is praying for it here and while the foundational root sounds simple, unity is incredibly difficult.  You simply CANNOT find unity amongst believers, much less an entire body of believers like a church, or better-yet “Fellow Christians.”It simply cannot happen in my humble opinion. (In the absolute TRUE form.) Humans are innately complex and specifically in America, our way of life has been based off of Freedom of voice and choice. That creates division, not unity.

So how does on “fix” this problem? Well, here’s a thought. Church is about Jesus and God and moving people closer and closer to Him through each interaction. It’s not just a Sunday thing and it’s not a Wednesday night thing, it’s an everyday thing. Ooh- and it’s not a “building” thing. I know that in my life, absolute true spiritual growth hasn’t appeared within the walls of a church. It’s been in my truck on the way to Colorado, sitting next to a reservoir, flying in an airplane looking at the clouds and cracking like an egg learning that I’m not who I want to be. That last one was a difficult day.

Each time I have been close to God, it’s been absolutely silent. Both the physical, mental and emotional sides of myself have had to be in sync and totally still. A friend of mine reminded me that the Lord talks to us in many different ways, but at times those huge decisions from Him come as a whisper. Something so small we have to be quiet and LISTEN.

So this “Fellow Christian” thing still bugs. Do I want to be a “fellow” of Fred Phelps? Do I want to be a “fellow” of George Tiller? Do I want to be a “fellow” of whomever posted that thing that I saw?

The answer is no. I’ve never wanted to be in unity with any of those people. I don’t want to ascribe to their beliefs. I don’t want to listen to their garble. I don’t want them to influence me (even though they may.)

Here’s what I do want and what I want for everybody. The ability to listen to the Unity of Christ. Yeah, that guy. He had his stuff together. The Bible is interpreted a thousand different ways by hundreds of different religions across the world. It is a very complex book, filled with incredible history, stories, mystery, murder but most important, love. The ability for God to send His ONLY SON to come an set a true example for an entire species of purely raw and powerful, emotion-filled, semi-crazy, self-obsessed wack-jobs is a true testimony of love. Love for another. Love for you. Love for Me.

That, to me, is where I want to be a “fellow” . I want to be a “fellow Christian” in the purest form. One whom loves unconditionally. One whom isn’t perfect, but doesn’t expect or judge others because of inadequacies. One whom is an awesome vessel for God to use to motivate and spread the Word of the gospel to create others like Him. Not like me.

I am nothing, except through Him.

Word.